


Late nights and Livestreams

by MaddieWrites



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Cuddles, Fluff, M/M, livestreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 01:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10933797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieWrites/pseuds/MaddieWrites
Summary: Mark can tell he's on the verge of a panic attack and sets up a livestream to distract himself. We can all see where this is going.





	Late nights and Livestreams

**Author's Note:**

> I bought a very small upset child a book that she really wanted and my mom yelled at me because she's like "Their parent won't know where they got it. They'll think they stole it." So now I feel bad about doing a good deed and helping this poor little girl. That was my day have a fanfiction. I hope you like this! Leave a comment if you did!

"Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and it is currently one in the morning. I had a bad dream and now I can't sleep so I decided to livestream and there are 70,000 people watching this. That's 70,000 people that need to go to bed. Are you going? No? Okay. Well until then, I'm gonna play a game called PACWAR. It's like first person scary PacMan. I'll put a link in the description and you can check it out. Let's get into that."  
Mark got started and proceeded like normal, playing the game and getting jump scared as usual. And everything was fine until it wasn't.  
"Okay, so about this..." Mark tried to decide what to say. He didn't have long. "I'm on the verge of my second panic attack of the night and I don't wanna freak anyone out, so what's going to happen is I'll start breathing kind of fast and I might curl up in a ball but it's normal and I'm fine and oh gosh." He swallowed hard. "Okay that's gonna happen soon. No one freak out. It's normal." Mark was very close to hyperventilating now, curling up in his chair. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move. He wanted to run but couldn't. Mark's hands were shaking and his body was shaking too. He could feel tears streaming. He was terrified.

_________________________________

"Okay." Mark was catching his breath, slowly uncurling and brushing the tears from his face. "Okay... I'm okay." Mark took a deep breath, trying to convince his viewers he was alright.   
"Alright. Hi. I'm good. I guess I should probably go check on the chat."  
He pulled it up.   
"Ok, lots of questions very fast... 'Are you okay?' Yeah. I'm fine. No worries. I'm very okay. It's normal for me. 'What set that off...?', uh, 'Do you have anxiety?' Yes. I do. I've kept it sort of quiet until now, for personal reasons. I guess that's sort of changed now whether I like it or not. 'Does this happen a lot?' Yeah. I've got an appointment in like two weeks. I'll be okay. Now, I may have another attack and if I do I'll probably step aside and have it and then come back to. Whoa resounding 'no' from the chat. Okay okay, calm down. I'll have it here. I don't know why you'd want to see that, but okay. Anyways... Awww, they're saying 'so we can help you through it.' That's so nice! You guys are the best. I'm not sure what you'll be able to do about it, but you can / try/. I may edit out the attacks when I upload this as a video so I don't scare anyone... Oh wow. You guys are /not/ liking that. Okay I'll leave them in if you want. Still don't know why you'd want that but..." 

_________________________________

"Oh gosh..." Mark had hoped to escape a second attack but it was definitely on its way. "Um, what does the, uh, the chat have to say? 'Four square breathing...' Uh, 'breath in for four counts, hold for four, out four, and hold for four.' Okay. I'll do that. You can do it too it's just this is coming on fast. So hang on and I'll try and do that." Mark took a moment to breathe. "Okay that's helping a bit. Let me...Let me just-. " He forced himself to do it again.   
"Okay this is coming on really fast. Jesus." His breathing was a bit off now as he tried to stop it. Maybe if he could distract himself...  
"Man, I wish I could talk to one of you, like actually hear your voices. I feel so alone here. I know you're all right there on the other side of the camera, but... Maybe I'll call my mom in the morning. She wouldn't appreciate a two AM phone call. She'll be upset that I didn't call her if she sees this stream, but... I can't call her right now. I wonder if Jack is still up... He doesn't sleep, right?" Mark asked, rambling on. "I'll call him hang on. Is it okay if I go get a drink really quick first? It looks like a 'yes', so I'll be right back."   
Mark was a bit calmer when he returned.  
"Okay," He took a few small sips of water and the pulled out his phone. "I'll call Jack now. I hope he's up." Mark dialed and waited. After a few rings it went to voice mail.  
"Well I'm gonna call him again because that's the kind of person I am." Mark dialed again, careful to keep the screen and Jack's number hidden from the camera. Jack answered on the third ring.  
"Mark? Are you okay? You know it's two AM, right?" Jack asked, sounding tired and concerned.  
"Yeah, sorry if I woke you."  
"You did. You'd better need something."  
"It's just been a bad night and I wanted to hear your voice." Mark admitted. He was ready to break down and cry with relief. He'd really needed Jack. There was a pause on the other end. Jack didn't know how to respond to that.   
"Okay, alright. Is everything okay?"   
"I hope so."  
"Are you live streaming this? I just got notified of your live stream?" Jack asked.  
"Yeah, sorry. I know you don't like to be on them."  
"It's fine. What's going on? The chat's talking about panic attacks?"  
"Yeah, they helped me through one." Mark ran a hand through his hair, messing it up.  
"Like that anxiety attacks game?"  
"No, a real one. I'm sort of on the way to another one."  
"Oh. Okay." Jack had no idea what to do, but the worst thing that could possibly happen was for him to freak out. Mark was scared. Jack needed to stay calm. "Well, just try to breathe. Do those counts the chat is so obsessed with. The four squares and five seven eight things."  
"Okay." Mark attempted the four square breathing again. "Are you watching the stream?"  
"Yes, hello." Jack waved then realized Mark couldn't see him.  
"The chat is excited." Mark laughed.  
"I can see that. 'I ship it.', 'I ship them both heart eyes emoji.', 'I ship it so much keyboard smash.' Lots of ships sailing through the chat today... Am I supposed to be doing something? Did you call so I could help in a specific way?" Jack wondered aloud.  
"No, just please keep talking." Mark looked desperately into the camera.  
"Okay, I will. Um... Now that you've said that I've got no idea what to talk about. I saw you did that song with Nate, the Pokémon one. To be a master. That evil laugh scared the crap out of me. It was awesome. Try to breathe Mark. Actually, you may need to breathe /less/. You're sort of hyperventilating. Are you okay?"  
"Maybe. It's not-." He was cut off by a choking sound.  
"Breathe Mark." Jack said as calmly as he could.   
"I can't. Jack I /can't/." He started hyperventilating again, curling in on himself.  
"Okay. Well that's okay. We'll ride it out together, don't worry. God I wish I was there. It's killing me to see you like this. I just want to hug you but this screen's in the way! It'll be okay though, really. This is only temporary and it'll be over soon."  
Mark clung to the word 'temporary', trying desperately to hold on to something, /anything/. Even with Jack he couldn't get a grip. He couldn't pull himself out. He couldn't even breathe.   
"It's okay. Everything's okay, I promise." Jack was reading off words of wisdom from the chat as he didn't know what to say. "We're here for you Mark, you're not alone. We'll help you get through this."  
His breathing was slowing and it was almost over but he was sobbing from the aftershock.   
"You alright?"   
Mark nodded but didn't lift his head.   
"Good. Alright... Just keep breathing. It's alright. I'm going to drive over, okay?" Jack was happy that the convention he'd flown out for had lined up with Mark's panic attacks. It would've been an eleven hour flight.   
"Okay."  
"Stay on the phone. Five minutes."  
Jack watched Mark nod and closed his computer.

_________________________________

Jack knocked on the door and Mark dragged him inside immediately.  
"Are you alright?"   
Mark pulled him into a hug. He'd known /Mark/ really needed one, but not that /he/ had. Jack almost forgot how nice it was to be hugged. When was the last time he'd hugged a real human? It must've been Christmas... That was sad. Mark looked awful. He hadn't been sleeping well lately and tonight hadn't helped at all. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying and his hair was a mess.   
"Did you get any sleep at all?" Jack asked.  
"A few hours before I had the nightmare and woke up."  
"And how many panic attacks have you had?"  
"One when I woke up, two on the live stream and one more while I was waiting for you. That's four, so four I guess."  
"You look terrible."  
"Thanks. Sorry I woke you." Mark ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further.  
"It's okay. Really, call any time you need. Are you feeling better?" Jack asked hopefully.   
"A little. Thanks for coming." Mark always felt better with Jack.  
"No problem. I'm just glad I happened to be over here. I wouldn't have been able to help if I was in Ireland."  
"You could help over the phone I guess." Mark shrugged.  
"Well I'm glad I could do it in person. Do you think you'll have another attack?"  
"Not right now. I'm a bit better. Not being alone helps a lot."  
"Good." Jack smiled.   
"Do you wanna watch a movie or something? We might be up for a while."  
"Sure."   
Mark put on Lord of the Rings and Jack got some popcorn and chips in bowls.   
"If you think you're going to have another one, let me know so we can try and stop it, okay?" Jack asked, settling on the couch with Mark.   
"Okay." He turned the movie on. 

_________________________________

When Jack woke up, it was ten AM and Mark was still asleep. He'd settled in with his head resting in Jack's lap so Jack could play with his hair. Mark secretly loved the way it felt but was too embarrassed to tell anyone other than Jack. The Irishman smiled at his peaceful expression. Mark didn't get enough peaceful moments. Jack was glad he'd managed to fall asleep, but he was a bit worried about how long he might have to remain in this position. As long as Mark got some rest, he was willing to sit still for a few hours. Jack found his mind drifting, wondering how often Mark had these midnight panic attacks. He'd have to make sure Mark knew it was okay to call him at any time. He'd answer. Jack sighed, a bit upset that he wouldn't be able to help Mark in person; only over the phone. Well... He could always just fly back for holidays, right? Jack pulled out his phone and started looking at apartments in LA. He could visit his family anytime, and being in LA would bring him close to other YouTubers and YouTube events... He didn't have to decide right now, but he knew he'd already made his choice. Jack canceled his flight back home and rebooked the tickets for a few weeks later. Mark needed him right now. He wasn't sleeping, kept forgetting to eat, and had panic attacks every night. Yeah, the flight home could wait. For now, Mark was eating breakfast if he liked it or not. Jack would make sure of that. He sighed, looking down at Mark. How had he fallen so in love with this dork? It didn't matter now. All that mattered was he and Mark were together and they were happy. The world could suck on that. Jack wormed his way out from under Mark and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast, content knowing that happy was exactly where he would be spending the next few days. Happy and safe with the love of his life.


End file.
